Livin’ la vida Nunberg

March 6, 2018

By Joel Sawyer – Follow Joel on Twitter

Sam Nunberg woke up this morning the same way many other Americans did: buck naked in a fetal position, lying on the shower floor, loosely clutching a 3/4 empty bottle of cheap bourbon with nothing but the vaguest recollection of the last 24 hours of his life.

Below is a short recap for your – and hell, probably his – benefit:

  • Nunberg went on cable news repeatedly – with phone interviews with numerous other reporters in between – and dared Special Counsel Robert Mueller to “come at him, bro” and arrest him.
  • He said he wouldn’t cooperate with a federal subpoena, and mused over ripping it up on live television.
  • Told reporters that he hated Trump and that Trump was an idiot, and that Putin was too smart to collude with Trump.
  • Said Carter Page, a central figure in Russia-gate, was also an idiot and probably colluding with Russia.
  • Called Sarah Huckabee Sanders “unattractive” and a “fat slob.”
  • Recounted an alleged episode in Russia in which an oligarch attempted to send girls up to Trump’s Moscow hotel room, but that Trump was “too smart” for that.
  • Said Robert Mueller was “an asshole” while also saying Trump “probably” did something illegal during the campaign.
  • In a coup de grace, was forced to deny to CNN’s Erin Burnett that he was intoxicated during their interview Monday night.

The WORST part was he did all of this like four hours after we dropped our Monday show which was incredibly selfish on his part, but we won’t hold that against him. He’s got enough shit to deal with without worrying about us.

So what does it all mean?

First off, it’s important to understand just how critical Sam Nunberg was to the early stages of Trump’s Presidential Campaign. Since 2016, his relationship with Trump can best be described as “it’s complicated,” but there is no denying that Nunberg was a key part of laying the groundwork for Trump’s famous ride down the gilded escalator…which, as an aside, has always reminded me of this scene from Big Trouble in Little China. Nunberg was the Thunder to Trump’s Lo Pan.

Second, on Tuesday Sober Sam contradicted YOLO Sam, and said that he probably would, in fact, comply with the Mueller subpoena. So it’s doubtful that he’s going to go to jail or have another episode that even approaches the high drama of Monday’s tour-de-DGAF.

Third, if Nunberg does cooperate, it could take Mueller’s entire investigation in the direction that Trump and the entire Trump family least wants it to go – into the realm of Trump’s business entanglements, specifically any that may or may not exist in Russia. Remember, Nunberg had been Trump’s right-hand-man for years leading up to the Presidential campaign. He was the media’s go-to guy for all things Trump – and if there are sketchy business dealings that could be politically or legally problematic for the President or his family, Nunberg knows where the pee-stained sheets are buried.

All of that being said, Nunberg did himself absolutely no favors Monday. While the documents that I suspect he will ultimately produce for Mueller’s team may prove useful, any testimony he provides would probably be viewed with a great deal of skepticism. He’s shouted his biases from the rooftops and has a big axe to grind against Trump. Mueller is no dummy, and he’s not going to let Nunberg’s tantalizing trail of salacious breadcrumbs sidetrack his quest for cold, hard, verifiable facts.

Like the rest of America, we’ll be waiting to see how it plays out so we can bring you the latest. And in the meantime, Sam…if you’re reading…we record on Mondays and Thursdays around lunchtime, so please keep that in mind for your next meltdown.

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